DARK ROMANCE, GHOSTS, HUMOUR, MAGIC/SPECIAL POWERS, PARANORMAL ROMANCE, REVERSE HAREM, REVERSE HAREM - PARANORMAL, ROMANCE, SHIFTERS, TRIGGERS, VAMPIRES, WITCHES

Book review: Gypsy’s Blood (All The Pretty Monsters #1) by Kristy Cunning

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Published: the 14th of Deccember 2018
Written byKristy Cunning
Series: All The Pretty Monsters
Length: 294 pages
Source: Kindle Unlimited

The blurb

 

I’m not all that special, really. Or uncommon. I’m sure there are a lot of girls with old gypsy blood who see the dead, have killer cults hunting their family, and turn into something that gets scary when they panic. Yep. Completely unoriginal, if I do say so myself. 
Move along. Nothing to see here. Nope. I’m just an ordinary girl. 

I wish people would believe that. 

I’ve been labeled as one thing or another for most of my life: 
Death Girl. 
Crazy Gypsy Girl. 
Gothic Chick. 
Monster… 

It took my mother’s death for me to finally start getting answers about what’s really been going on. Unfortunately, most of the answers come from men…who aren’t just men. Somehow, I’ve gone and landed myself in a world truly filled with monsters, and I’m starting to think this is where I should have been all along. 

Only…I don’t understand what’s going on. I’m walking into the middle of a story that’s thousands of years old, and I’m the new girl on the block who doesn’t have a clue how this world even works. My only guides happen to be the most lethal of the bunch. 

They decide who lives or dies. They decide who gets stabbed or tortured. 
Yeah… 

I’ve gone and drawn attention to myself, and the ones paying attention are the ones everyone else seems to fear. 

How do these things always happen to me? 

**Reverse Harem
**Language warning
**Sexual content
**Dark Humor

 

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I am not even 100% sure what I’ve just read!! I adore Kristy’s crafty writing. It’s dark, mysterious, snarky and filled with a lot of inappropriate vagina jokes and lame pop culture puns. It might sound like a terrible combination, but the devil is in the detail and the execution is b-e-a-u-t-i-f-u-l!!!

 

“I was a vampire once, until a bitch staked me through the heart. They called her Buffy,” she manages to add with a straight face, appearing a little bitter. “She looked more like a Sarah to me though, if I’m being honest.”

 

Unlike Kristy’s previous series, this one is more confusing (at least it was to me), as the characters identities are revealed (in most part), but the world is somewhat of a mystery. I know that Violet (once upon a time called January, until she faked her own death), is a gypsy. After her mum is killed she inherits her shop, and moves there to continue the business. She thinks it’s safe to do so, otherwise why would mother dearest lead her in that direction? While it’s not exactly safe for Violet, it’s not like its particularly dangerous neither. Or at least it wouldn’t be, if she wasn’t completely in the dark about what’s going on – which leads her to put her trust in the wrong basket.

With no friends or family around her, Violet spends most of her time with her pet ghost; the ever horny Anna. The number one rule for gypsy’s is: do not make eye contact with ghosts. But when Anna rides into the church on top of Violet’s mums casket, I can’t fault her for looking. Apparently ghosts can deteriorate and in that process, they become pathological liars who will make up the most random stuff and pass it off as facts. This pet ghost/sidekick is a most welcome addition to the story. Her lies are as outrageously funny as her obsession with Violets vagina and the fact that she never uses it – much to Anna’s dismay as she’s swooning over pretty much all the monster men they meet.

 

“Oooooh la la. Hello, you sexy, devilish savage,” Anna purrs, appearing beside me.
“Tell him I’m a porn star from the nineties. Or was it early two-thousands when they started keeping the downstairs painfully tide?” she asks, tapping her chin with her index finger while seriously deliberating the matter.

 

The Little Red Ridinghood vibes are strong in this one!! Not only because of the red cloak she inherits from her mother, not only because she gets hunted by wolves and not only because she admits that things seem to go wrong when she doesn’t follow her mums advise. But put those things together, and the vibe gets stronger. Looking at the cover it’s impossible not to have those puns, ideas and directions in the book, though. And it does actually work!!

The guys: Damian, Emit, Vance and Arion are all separate mysteries. I enjoyed their personalities immensely, especially the strong anti hero vibe. It seems they’re all a bunch of cursed monsters and one monster hunter (yes sirree, none other than a Van Helsing).
Come to think of it, I think everyone in the book is partly cursed and partly deserving of their suffering.

I cannot wait to read the next book in the series, and (hopefully) find out exactly what is going on. But one thing is certain; if monsters are like that, I wouldn’t mind one hiding under my bed!!

 

let's chat

Do you like when mythology gets mixed with modern day? Do you like mythology? Let’s chat in the comments!

 

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