CHICK LIT, NOT RECOMMENDING, ROM COM, ROMANCE

Lessons in Love and Romance by Kirsty Greenwood – review

lessons in love and romance

 

My rating: ❤ of 5!
Length: 412 pages
Published: the 2nd of August 2018 (originally published the 9th of April 2015 as “The Vintage Guide to Love and Romance”).
Written by: Naomi Smart
Series: Standalone
Source: Amazon Kindle

 

 

 

 

 

The blurb:

Jessica Beam is a girl who knows how to party. Only lately she’s been forgetting to turn up for work on time. Or in clean clothes. Down on her luck, out of a job and homeless, Jess seeks the help of her long-lost grandmother.

Things aren’t going well for Matilda Beam, either. Her 1950s Good Woman guide books are out of print, her mortgage repayments are staggering and her granddaughter wears neon Wonderbras!

When a lifeline from a London publisher arrives, the pair have an opportunity to secure the roof over their heads – by invigorating the Good Woman guides and transforming modern, rebellious Jess into a demure vintage lady.

The true test of their make-over will be to capture the heart of notorious London playboy Leo Frost and prove that Matilda’s guides still work. It’s going to take commitment, nerves of steel and one seriously pointy bra to pull this off…

 

 

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Jess is a friend, family and connection user
Alcohol and sex abuser
She’s a frightened little girl running scared
She’s too selfish and flawed to go through life prepared

When a business event for her friend important seem
Jess is living it up high on her alcoholic theme
To control herself she surely must
But the you cannot on her trust

Why wouldn’t she get drunk and ruin it all
And then cry like a brat when she’s kicked out of the ball
Afterwards, when no one seems to want her around
She heads towards London feeling family bound

Just kidding, she has no idea of family or duty
But from her estranged grandma want some money so she can travel and tan her booty
So, off to grandma’s house she goes to beg for cash
And who cares if she the old woman’s feelings smash

When Jess can’t cope she indulges in sex and wine
She finds it hard even with the old woman to dine
When a book deal to scam a guy comes up
Jess can’t help but fall for the sob

She abuses his trust
She feels it’s a must
She doesn’t care about how she him treats
As long as she the assignment completes

When she’s outed by a former friend
She still expects it all to her will shall bend
Through the experience she does learn of family and love
But too little too late, when I think of all the things above

 

 

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At first I didn’t actually mean to make a rhyming poemy thing about this book. When I write a review, I usually start by just randomly writing everything the book made me think and feel. Then afterwards I go back and clean it up, put it proper together, so it (hopefully) makes sense to other people. As I came to that part, I noticed the random rhymes, and just decided to go with it. On a sad note; I had more fun doing that, than I did reading the book.

To me Jessica (Jess) Beam seems like a vile, immature, pathetic, selfish and lost girl. She’s 28 and she cannot neither keep her female bits in her pants, or handle her alcohol. While her friends are busy getting married, having children and focusing on their careers, she’s dreaming of her next buzz. I feel like I should set the record straight here: Jess’ friend is not a nice person. But I cannot 100% decide if it’s because she’s so full of herself, or if it’s also through years and years of dealing with this grownup who still acts like a teenager. Probably a bit of both! In London Jess gets drunk and creates a scene, but it is most definitely not her fault. The guy she insulted and the waiter she ran into came out of no where. Her alcohol consumption is not to be blamed. Nuh-uhh!

Out of money, luck and connections she can smooch off Jess finally remembers she has an estranged grandma. Surely, she can then use her for money, and travel to some sunny destination. She has absolutely zero interest in getting to know her grandma, she just wants money. So off to her house she goes. Unfortunately, it turns out grandma is not as wealthy as Jess had hoped. But luckily the doctor downstairs is kind of hot, so at least she can spread her legs and act like a slag, while considering her options.

When a publisher refuses to re-publish her grandma’s Good Woman guide books (from the 1950’s) the pair of them are instead offered a deal: make Jess use the Good Woman tips from the past, get a notorious bachelor to fall in love with her, and then all is well and all the books will be published and re-published. To Jess this is perfectly okay, because this bachelor have been rude to her, so he totally have the humiliation coming. I mean, it’s not like it’s rude to play with someones feelings. Is it?

This is the second book I’ve read from Kristy Greenwood, and right now I’m sure it will be the last. I don’t know exactly what it is about her books, but something rubs me the wrong way. I guess if I’m honest, it’s a lot of different things. Particularly the way she creates needy, selfish and completely flawed heroine’s. If you add to that, that she tries to make fun of things that are actually quite horrible, that’s where I say stop. So my advise is, watch “How To Loose A Guy In 10 Days” instead. It might not have the overlapping of old with new, but at least you then get to drool over Matthew Mcconaughey.

This is the second book I’ve read from Kristy Greenwood, and right now I’m sure it will be the last. I don’t know exactly what it is about her books, but something rubs me the wrong way. I guess if I’m honest, it’s a lot of different things. Particularly the way she creates needy, selfish and completely flawed heroine’s. If you add to that, that she tries to make fun of things that are actually quite horrible, that’s where I say stop. So my advise is, watch “How To Loose A Guy In 10 Days” instead. It might not have the overlapping of old with new, but at least you then get to drool over Matthew Mcconaughey.

 

 

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Lets chat

Have you read this book or any books by the author? Do you like this genre?  Let’s chat in the comments!

 

 

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