My rating: 5 of 5!
Published: the 6th of December 2016
Written by: Nick Spalding
Length: 316 pages
Source: Kindle Unlimited.
Can two people who have never met make a marriage work? Popular dating site Sociality thinks so, and is marrying London lad Adam to California girl Jessica to prove it.
What better way to show that your ‘love algorithms’ work than to put two complete strangers together in an expensive publicity stunt? But, as livewire Jess and lazybones Adam quickly discover, just because a computer says you’re the perfect match, it doesn’t make it so!
Two million Sociality subscribers and the media are following the happy couple’s progress, and they have to make a go of it or they’ll lose everything, look like idiots, and destroy Sociality’s reputation. But can the mismatched pair, who seem to be constantly at each other’s throats, put their differences aside and work their way into each other’s hearts?
Nick Spalding, bestselling author of Fat Chance and Bricking It, will make you cry with laughter at this story of marital warfare—complete with sinking boats, badly aimed flatulence, well aimed tennis balls and some very suggestive pastry.
As the first book I’ve read in 2019, I it’s a sign of how my reads are going to be in this year because wow. It’s been a long time since I’ve read such a great romance book. It wasn’t surprising, the romantic plot was pretty straight forward. But Nick’s wording, world building and especially character building and development, is in a master class of its own. They say the pen is mightier than the sword, and with this book in mind I have to agree with it. The humour you find within these pages is unparalleled, and extremely clever.
But I think what I liked the most is that this book really shows us relationships at their worst, how far out people can get when they’re put in extreme situations. Especially if the people think they’re going to own the situation, then it can be quite the rude awakening when you realise it somehow isn’t the case.
She even manages to have a bath loudly. I fully expect to walk in after she’s done to find water splashed up every wall and every wall tile smashed, but there’s no evidence of such violence, even though I can hear her when she’s in there from outside the bloody terrace
Jessica and Adam both sign up for a competition hosted by an online dating company. The price? £30.000 to share, an all expense paid for wedding and honeymoon, and a year free of a charge in a luxury apartment. There’s just that one little challenge that they’re not allowed to meet each other until their wedding day. So aside from a very short phone call prior to the big day, there’s been no communication between them. But that’s exactly how confident the owner of the dating service is of their secret matchmaking algorithms. The perfect advertisement stunt, or a catastrophe of epic proportions?
I start to back away, trying not to draw too much attention to myself. As I am not trained in the dark arts of ninja-like concealment, all I manage to do it the exact opposite.
It’s a little hard to ignore an uncomfortable-looking redhead in a skintight bartender’s outfit, performing the worst Michael Jackson moonwalk you’ve seen this side of a wedding reception at one in the morning.
The newly weed couple does seem to get on rather okay on their honeymoon, though they quickly learn that if you don’t pay for something, then it’s often because you’re the product. So, they spend almost every day doing publicity for the dating site in one way or another. On top of that both Jessica and Adam seems to be champions at thinking they’re being quite straight forward, but whilst accomplishing to not communicate much to each other. And with that even the best laid plans with the best intentions, often ends up being an utter failure.
From there on things seem to go from bad to worse, when the anything but happy couple start taking fighting to new lows. Every appearance turns into a personal competition where it’s all about not just winning, but hopefully destroying the other in the process.
Throughout the book the chapters swap between Jessica and Adam’s point of view. But at the same time, we don’t hear about the same situation from both of them. It’s divided into different parts of their journey, which makes it easy to follow the couple on their ups and (many) downs. I had the best and easiest time connecting with both Jessica and Adam. Both characters are so normal it’s a joy to follow them. Nick haven’t shied away from writing the ugly side of both Jessica and Adam; we get to see them wallow in self pity, rage from self-righteousness, be mortified when pride stands for fall and yet it’s all done with sublime and excellent sarcasm.
I think it’s the sarcasm that made it all work for me – oh, and let’s not forget that the both Jessica and Adam have a healthy sense of knowing when they’re in the wrong, not that it makes them stop. I feel that in a lot of modern romance books it’s all about one being worse than the other, and how the woman is often a poor damzel in distress. That couldn’t be further from how Jessica is. This girl is confident, strong (mentally as well as physically), she knows her limits and what she’s worth – and at the same time, she’s not backing down.
I cannot recommend this book enough and I think I’ll have to look into if it’s possible to get my hands on a signed copy, because that would look amazing on my shelves!
Do you like Rom Com’s? Do you enjoy a healthy dose of sarcasm? Have you read this book or are you planning to read it? Let’s talk in the comments!
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